I love the start of the New Year. I get to put the crappy parts of the year behind me and build upon everything else that was good. Unfortunately, I find my years are much like my closets: they start off clean and fresh and full of hope and promise when all of a sudden, somewhere between almost-spring and the dead-ass-heat of summer, everything goes awry. One minute I meet the criteria for DSM-IV 300.3, and the next I’m staring at a Mount Vesuvius of shoes and wondering where I left my flip-flops.
And, so goes my year.
I begin with a resounding flourish. I read health books from cover to cover. I toss out all the junk food. I make exercise commitments with neighbors. And, much like my closets, it all goes to pot in April and I spend the rest of the year feasting on DQ Blizzards and diet coke while blasting the air conditioner to prevent the slightest molecule of perspiration.
I’ll admit I am entirely to blame. My resolutions are always ridiculously unrealistic or impossibly vague. I want to lose 250 pounds in 6 weeks! I will never eat junk food ever again! I will exercise! I will be nicer! I mean, really. Who am I kidding? I can’t help but think I subconsciously come up with these idiotic promises simply to make failure unavoidable and, consequently, acceptable.
Well, no more. I’m going to be a little smarter this year, and commit to resolutions that are attainable. Be prepared, because in my effort to be specific I wound up with a list that will make a few of you cringe. Some of the items on my list are easy, others not so much. All of them are doable, and I intend to post updates on my progress throughout the year.
The Official Pancakes & French Fries 2008 List of Things to Do
- Open up Paper Soufflé.
- Sell 1 item to a complete stranger.
- Write 5x per week.
- Lose 20 pounds. Really, I could stand to lose about 83,000 more. But, I’m shooting for attainable here, people.
- Paint and decorate the master bedroom.
- Organize the boys’ closets.
- Finish the trim and move the furniture into the office in the back.
- Take at least 5-10 pictures of the boys per week and email them to family.
- Spend at least 1 day per month with my niece(s)--#2 is on her way as I type! So excited!
- Eat out only twice per week, including [gulp] takeout.
- Abstain from sugar and refined food for 30 consecutive days.
- Recapture my health. This is rather vague, but I can’t really define it any better. In the words of the honorable Mr. Justice Stewart, “I’ll know it when I see it.” At the very least, I want to go 30 days without having to take an antacid or headache medication.
- No more diet coke!
- Organize my china hutch.
- Finish my kitchen
- Tile and paper back splash.
- Call contractor regarding chipped finish on cabinet door.
- Buy window treatments
- Visit at least three places detailed in this book.
- Read 8 fiction books for pleasure.
- Go out with The Mister alone once a month.
- Open up a Netflix (or Blockbuster) account.
- Abandon the SAHM uniform and ponytail 3 times per week.
- Celebrate small successes.
I can’t help but read my list and think I am the most boring person on the planet. It’s a wonder anyone takes the time to read this blog. After this post, I expect my readership to plummet, accordingly. Tell me I am not the only one with such a boring list of resolutions!
p.s. If you can catch the movie reference in this post I'll give a few of you a little goodie bag from The Shop. You know. When it opens.