You Can Thank Me for the Rain

I just can't seem to keep water-filled glasses in an upright position. In fact, I have spilled no less than 4 glasses of water since Christmas. It all started during an innocent lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. I reached across the table to hand something to Nicholas, knocked over my full glass of water, and watched in horror as it splashed all over The Mister and Mikey. The waiter came over with a towel and a look that said such behavior is best reserved for those still developing synapses.

Over the course of the last 3 weeks I have managed to spill three more glasses of water. My latest ham-handed attempt at civilized behavior occurred tonight, while preparing dinner. The most pathetic part of all of this? I didn't even realize I spilled the water until it occurred to me that onions really aren't that juicy and, if they were, my eyes would be burning like miniature meteors in my skull.

So, because I am to the left of normal, I decided that clearly the universe is trying to send me signs. Who better to decipher this code than my friend, Google? One ten minute search later and the results are in.

1. Something bad is going to happen.
2. I can expect good luck in the future.
3. I am pregnant.
4. It is going to rain.

Numbers 1 and 2 cancel each other out, which is fine by me because I don't like surprises. Number 3 just doesn't work for me right now. I couldn't possibly take on another psyche to indelibly scar. I'm only one person, you know? That leaves me with number 4. So, for those of you who, like myself, enjoy the rain and are currently experiencing quite a bit of it--all I can say is you're welcome.