Where I Tackled a Child to Touch a Lizard.

I struggle to post everyday. My problem? I lead an exceptionally dull life. I can't even say this is a side effect of motherhood. I've always been boring. My reputation is woefully beyond reproach.

Perhaps this is why I was so excited to hear The Wizard of Lizards was at Mikey's school and would be putting on a hands on presentation and petting zoo on all things reptilian, amphibian, and arachnidian.

"Can parents attend?" I asked the principal eagerly. To help out. Because I'm co-room mom. Aren't I supposed to attend these sorts of things? You know, to take pictures? Well, it's a good thing I was there! I was the only parent who showed! Ahem.

The show was great. "The Wizard" gave an interesting little talk about each animal on display before allowing the volunteers to handle them. I was the only one actually paying attention, but that's what happens when your audience is a group of 3 and 4 year olds. Another fine reason for me to attend! I was "The Wizard's" emotional support!

Mikey seemed to have a good time, with the exception of the Tarantula presentation.

He didn't volunteer for any of the hands on portions of the presentation, which meant he was one of 9 kids to hold up the python at the end of the show.

Of course, I had to go to the front to position all the kids. I may have sneaked a quick pet while I was up there.

The best part, of course, was the petting zoo after the show. When "The Wizard" said we could approach the animals for a closer look, I am sad to say I found myself tearing up there, dragging Mikey behind me. Remember that episode of Seinfeld where George pushed aside the elderly woman and children to get out of the burning apartment? Guilty. I couldn't get there fast enough to secure my Mikey's place at the head of the line, slow moving preschoolers be damned.

Some of the things I tackled defenseless children to see:

Two Frogs



Two Turtles



One Tortoise



Four Snakes and Two Geckos



One Ancient Iguana



Three More Frogs



And One Blue Tongued Kissing Lizard



(Note the iron grip on Mikey's wrist. You're going to get kissed by that lizard, dammit! Yes, I got a kiss to.)

The Wizard of Lizards is also available for birthday parties and corporate events. I may have him do Mikey's birthday party this year. Ahem. Because Mikey loved it so much.